Clipping toenails the easy way

Ipo: What are you doing? That's my foot!

Percy: I'm not doing anything with your foot. Now hold still.

Ipo: Not you, the two-legger. It keeps grabbing my foot and making that snipping sound.

Percy: Who cares? Now hold still.

Ipo: How can I hold still if it keeps grabbing my feet?

Percy: Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate? Geez! It's bad enough that the two-legger is right here.

Ipo, standing up: Fine. Go practice orgling at someone else, then.