Happy New Year!

May you never get spit lip in your journey through life!

Surrogate Mom

Ipo: I'm going to eat over here by you. Ok, Mom?

Chloe: No. Go away.

Ipo: Aw, Mom! I know you don't mean that.

Chloe: Yes, I do. And quit calling me Mom!

Ipo, to Percy: Mom sure is funny sometimes, huh?

Percy: She doesn't mind when I call her Mom. Mostly. Are you sure she's your Mom, too?

Ipo: Well, she sort of looks like my Mom. Kind of. Maybe. Close enough for me, anyway. Hey, Mom! Wait for me!!

Two Maidens and a Mom, April 2003

Jubilee, sniffing: What is it?

Chloe, sniffing: I don't know. It's all wet.

Jubilee, sniffing: What is it?

Georgia, baring her teeth: That's my new baby. Leave him alone, this instant!

Chloe, as she snorts delicately and walks away: Don't worry, I don't want him. He's funny-looking.

Jubilee, sniffing: What is it? Can I have it?

Georgia: Absolutely not! Go away!

Georgia spits at Jubilee to make her point.

Jubilee, still sniffing: But I want it! It's tiny. Can I have it?

Say what?

Ipo, Del and Donovan watches Chloe through the gate as she eats her pellets.

Ipo: Boy, she's a real pig!

Del: Yeah... look how fast she's eating!

Donovan, under his breath: Look who's talking!

Ipo flattens her ears back and stares at Donovan: WHAT did you say?

Donovan, as he turns his head away: Uh, nothing! Nothing at all!

Happy Holidays!

Drake's alarm

Drake: Shhh! And stop biting me!

Sindre: Rmpghffff!

Drake: Be quiet! The lights are still on!

Sindre: Unnppffff!!

Drake: Will you stop? {kicks at Sindre} There! Finally, they've turned the lights off! Just a few minutes more..... Now! Follow me!

Drake races around the pasture with Sindre close behind. They stop every so often to wrestle, then start running again.

Drake: Ok! It's time! Keep running!

Drake gives a very loud alarm call, sounding like a cross between a braying donkey and a laughing hyena.

Drake: Perfect! They've turned the lights on and the dog is barking! Now, go graze or something. Hurry!

Sindre: Irrggghhhmmmphphhh!!

Drake: Stop chest-butting me! They'll be out any minute! Now go over to the other side of the pasture. There they are! Get away from me, you'll ruin everything!

Sindre sulks and starts nibbling grass. Drake hurries away from Sindre and lowers his head to graze as the two-leggers stomp out to the pasture with their flashlights. They mull around a bit, flashing streams of light here and there, then finally return to their box. Drake giggles.

Drake: Until tomorrow night, two-leggers!

How to drench a princess

Chloe: Me! Me! I get to go in the pen now! ME!

Ipo: You don't want to go in there! The two-legger is gonna put that icky-tasting stuff in your mouth!

Chloe: They won't! I'll get pellets, you'll see!

Ipo: You'll be sorry!

Chloe: ME!! I get to-- GET OUT OF THE WAY! I get to go in now! ....ahhhh! Pellets!! See? I told you!!

Ipo: That's no fair! I had to drink the icky stuff!

Chloe: {munch..munch} It's cuz I'm special, that's why! {munch..munch} Hmm...I wonder how come the pellets smell so funny? {munch..munch} They taste funny, too.... {munch..munch} Can I have some more??

An excerpt from Ipo's diary....

November 9, 2004

Been at this new place a couple of days, and I'm learning some things . . .

• If you go near Georgia, she'll spit at you. Check.
• If you put your ears back when Del comes near you, he'll run to his Mommy. Check.
• If you look at Georgia, she'll spit at you. Check.
• Donovan is nice, he doesn't spit like his mother does, and he'll graze beside you. Check.
• If you don't look at Georgia, but she THINKS you're looking at her, she'll spit at you. Check.
• The new two-leggers will also bring you pellets and you don't have to worry about anyone else getting them from you. Check.
• If you're not even thinking about Georgia, but she THINKS you're thinking about her, she'll spit at you. Check.

I wonder when I'll get to go home?

Chloe couldn't let Georgia have the last word....

'Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Chloe, aka "Princess" Chloe


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shed
Not a creature was stirring, they'd all gone to bed,
Georgia was hogging the best spot as always,
(I hope someday she pays for her wicked ways!)

I nestled down to rest in my part of the shed,
While visions of pellets danced in my head,
And Jubilee in her corner and not too far from me,
Just settled down (Georgia had to spit, didn't she?)

When up above us there arose such a clatter,
We all got up to see what was the matter.
Away Georgia flew -- she always has to be first!
I took my time, gee, I had such a thirst...

The rest of us wandered out to Georgia's side
And looked back at the shed with our eyes opened wide
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
A great big two-legger with a lot of gear,

With a big red coat and holding a large brown sack,
I knew any moment that it had what I lack,
Pellets! Oh, pellets! I knew he would give me,
He had pellets in that sack, anyone could see.

"Now Chloe! now, Jubilee! now, move it I said!
On, Sindre! on Drake! now, get out of bed!
Come to me now and heed you my call!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

I couldn't believe that Georgia was screaming,
When before my eyes those pellets were streaming,
But I pranced and I pronked and I followed her about,
Because that's what you did when she gave her big shout.

And then, all of a sudden, there was a clamor,
And, gosh! I swear, I barely did touch her!
But right then and there she decided to spit,
And boy did I ever give her back a big fit!

I turned away primly and watched the two-legger work,
He filled all the hay bins, then turned with a jerk,
And walked away calmly as if nothing was wrong,
And left all of us with more hay that we long.

We sprang to the shed, to the hay bins we flew,
I got there first! I'm the fastest, it's true!
Georgia will try to spit at me, I know,
But I'm prettier than her and you know it's so!

And while alpacas munched in delight in their shed,
The two-legger stopped and he turned his head,
And said oh so softly as he gazed at the sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, by Georgia

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shed
Not a creature was stirring, they'd all gone to bed,
Chloe was kushed with the hay bin quite near,
In hopes for more hay which she held oh so dear,

The two boys were nestled all snug in their shed,
While visions of pellets danced in each head,
And Jubilee in her corner and I in my place,
Had just settled down (once I spit in her face),

When up above us there arose such a clatter,
I rose from the sand to see what was the matter.
Away to the pasture I flew like a flash,
Looked back to the shed to see what made that crash.

The rest of the girls soon followed me outside
And looked back at the shed with their eyes opened wide
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
A great big two-legger with a lot of gear,

With a big red coat and holding a large brown sack,
I knew any moment that it would be on attack,
More rapid than pumas I swear it did go,
And I no longer waited before I did blow;

"Now Chloe! now, Jubilee! now, move it I said!
On, Sindre! on Drake! now, get out of bed!
Come to me now and heed you my call!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

To my warning bugle the others did obey,
And gathered 'round for me to show them the way,
I pranced and I pronked and I ran around the field,
With the others along but to me they did yield.

And then, all of a sudden, I heard a big THUMP!
I stopped so fast into me Chloe did bump,
As soon as I finished spitting her in place,
To the shed and the two-legger I bravely did face,

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the hay bins, then turned with a jerk,
And walked away calmly as if nothing was wrong,
And left all of us with more hay that we long.

We sprang to the shed, to the hay bins we flew,
Chloe got there first but in the end we all knew,
That I was the Queen of this herd so small,
And of course, of the hay, I would get it all!

And while alpacas munched in delight in their shed,
The two-legger stopped and he turned his head,
And said oh so softly as he gazed at the sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"