Attention All Politicians!
(We interrupt sock knitting and fiber sorting progress to bring you this open letter to all politicians currently campaigning in Douglas County, Oregon.)
Attention all politicians. There are two voters in this house. Both of us are on the national telemarketing do not call list. We are on that list for a reason. We don't mind if you call us personally to talk about your positions and your records, but we don't really care to listen to your recordings.
Both of us can read and use the internet. We research our votes carefully. We research your records in places you probably do and don't want us looking.
I work retail and I have this really funky schedule. You see, when I have to be to work at 5:00 AM, I'm up at 3:30 AM which means I'm usually in bed and frequently asleep by 8:00 PM. On those days, your political calls at 8:30 PM are extremely unwelcome.
Other days, I am scheduled to work until 10:00 PM. By the time I get home, take the dog out, and program the coffee maker, it is approaching midnight. Early calls the following morning are once again, extremely unwelcome.
Due to the obscene volume of political calls and the interruptions they cause, we are instituting some new criteria for placing our votes.
We will be keeping score of how many calls are placed to our home during election season and how many recordings are played to us. Each pre-recorded call counts against a candidate. Calls to endorse a candidate or initiative count against both the endorser and the endorsee. Recording calls placed by third parties count against all candidates and initiatives endorsed by that third party. Calls while we are in bed count double. At the end of the campaign, we will total up pre-recorded phone calls and vote for those candidates and initiative campaigns who have called us least.
Our house! Our phone! Our rules! You don't like it? TUFF! Call us live and in person next time.
Attention all politicians. There are two voters in this house. Both of us are on the national telemarketing do not call list. We are on that list for a reason. We don't mind if you call us personally to talk about your positions and your records, but we don't really care to listen to your recordings.
Both of us can read and use the internet. We research our votes carefully. We research your records in places you probably do and don't want us looking.
I work retail and I have this really funky schedule. You see, when I have to be to work at 5:00 AM, I'm up at 3:30 AM which means I'm usually in bed and frequently asleep by 8:00 PM. On those days, your political calls at 8:30 PM are extremely unwelcome.
Other days, I am scheduled to work until 10:00 PM. By the time I get home, take the dog out, and program the coffee maker, it is approaching midnight. Early calls the following morning are once again, extremely unwelcome.
Due to the obscene volume of political calls and the interruptions they cause, we are instituting some new criteria for placing our votes.
We will be keeping score of how many calls are placed to our home during election season and how many recordings are played to us. Each pre-recorded call counts against a candidate. Calls to endorse a candidate or initiative count against both the endorser and the endorsee. Recording calls placed by third parties count against all candidates and initiatives endorsed by that third party. Calls while we are in bed count double. At the end of the campaign, we will total up pre-recorded phone calls and vote for those candidates and initiative campaigns who have called us least.
Our house! Our phone! Our rules! You don't like it? TUFF! Call us live and in person next time.
posted by Upper Alpacas | 6:41 PM
2 Comments:
Hehehe...it's times like this I'm glad neither the husband or I have a home phone. Of course, the times the cell signal drops, I scream about not having that same phone.
exactly. i'm so glad it's all over now.
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